Mary, mother of my life

A statue of Mary and the Christ child is seen in 2015 inside Jesus the Good Shepherd Church in Dunkirk, Md. (CNS photo/Bob Roller)

By Zion-JosepH, V.C. Leon Guerrero
For the Umatuna Si Yu’os

“When I find myself in times of trouble Mother Mary comes to me speaking words of wisdom ‘Let it be.’ And in my hour of darkness, she is standing right in front of me, speaking words of wisdom ‘Let it be.’”

These words resound in my heart, especially around the time of the feast of Our Lady of Lourdes. I am brought closer to Mary, not only in the nightly novenas, but in my personal life, too. I am reminded of her queenship and motherhood in my life.

About eight years ago, I started my journey of faith. Through the holy rosary, my family came closer to God.  The rosary became a trivia game for us and because we had no power, this meant that we had no TV to keep us entertained.

I remember the candlelit nights, playing with my mother, asking questions like, “What’s the third joyful mystery?” or we would challenge each other in reciting the “Hail Holy Queen” prayer. It was in these precious moments that we grew on God.

As I grew in my faith, I found myself with this need to have different images of our Lady. I started collecting whatever statues I could get my hands on.

When my birthday came, I asked for an image of Mary. When Christmas came, again, I wanted an image of Mary. When I went to the Philippines and I purchased an image of Mary.

I felt called to acknowledge the different names that our Mother Mary has, and I did this by honoring her images. Through this calling, a seed was planted in me serving as an internal safe haven.

I am the firstborn and the only boy in my family, which means I am also a “mama’s boy.” Having said that, high respect and love for my mom followed.

But in my sinfulness, I make mistakes; I offend and sin against God by dishonoring my mother. When I do, this terrible weight pulls my heart down and a great cloud blinds me from God’s mercy and compassion.

I, in this terrible moment, close my eyes and imagine Mama Mary before me. She stands high and graceful, in a light so bright, her face is shielded from my sinful eyes.

Her veil and gown flow down like a mighty waterfall. She is surrounded in a misty haze, clouds so soft and pale, almost transparent. She doesn’t speak to me, but I feel her embrace, that motherly comfort. I cry, and I say these words:

“Mom, I am so sorry. God entrusted me to my earthly mother, and I have failed her, but more importantly, him. I don’t mean to do so, but I am lost. I need your motherly guidance. Open your mantle of love and let it flow on me. I ask through your intercession that God forgive me, and help me to reconcile with my mother.”

While I say that, I imagine Mother Mary holding out her hands and I reach out for them. As I get closer, I am strengthened to reconcile with my mother. Afterwards, I go and seek forgiveness. I kiss my mom, hug her, and say, “Mom, I’m sorry,” and from there, everything is back to normal.

Having a personal relationship with Mama Mary is very important and helpful in having one with our heavenly Father. It helps to know you can always rely on someone.

I pray that God, in his majesty, gives us the grace to have a personal relationship with his mother. May he open our eyes and hearts so that we have the want for her maternal love. Amen.